(Nanginginig ang boses) “Shit. After nineteen years, ganun na lang? Isang araw gigising ka na hindi mo na ko kailangan?”
(Umiiwas sa tingin, sa nanunumbat na tingin) “Yep. Hard to explain, but, but, but good times, you see, should come to an end, end that way, abruptly. So-sorry.”
“Sorry? Sorry? ‘Yun lang? Nag-decide ka without even considering me? Shit!”
(Tinitigan ang hawak na basong may malamig na lambanog) “Alam ko, hindi na kailangang ipagpabukas e.”
(Tutulo ang luha, manginginig ang boses) “Ganun, nagpapatawa ka ba? Hindi na kailangang ipagpabukas, ha ha, e sino ba ko? Sino? Shit, I’ve been with you nineteen years, nineteen years lang naman heaven sakes... tapos iiwan mo ko, walang pasabi, walang paalam kasi, kasi, kasi... hindi na puwedeng ipagpabuhuhukas...”
(Nakatingin pa rin sa laman ng baso, nakatungo, mahinang-mahina ang boses) “You see, before, still can’t imagine myself na, na, na wala ka... that hellish week.”
(Mahina ang boses, may pagmamakaawa) “Ganun naman pala e, kalilimutan ko ‘to, kalilimutan ko lahat, walang nangyaring ganito ngayon, just, just... let’s be together again, please. Please.”
(Iiling lang, nilagyan ng lambanog ang baso kahit marami pang laman)
“Pl-please?...”
(Iiling lang, ngumiti, tutusok ng pulutan sa plato)
(Nanginginig ang boses, barely audible) “Please?... You can do no wonderful things without me...”
(Iiling lang, ngingiti) “Hindi ko malalaman, unless I try. So I tried... I’m trying, I’m moving on, it’s been a month.”
(Nabuhayan ng loob, tumayo, ngumiti) “This is just a bad dream, a nasty dream, yeah, I know, hehehe, dito rin ‘to magtatapos. Napanaginipan ko na to e. Napanood ko na to sa teleserye. At bago ko magising you will say ‘You’re right, can’t live without you, blah blah blah’ happy ending, masarap ang gising, masarap ang kape.”
“No, no, hindi ‘to panaginip, hindi ka magigising... gising ka na... after a month, I’d say I’m happier... much happier without you. Sorry.”
(Magbabago ang timpla, manginginig sa galit, tutulo ang luha) “Hindi totoo ‘yan, you still imagine me beside you, naiisip mo ang good times memorable times between us, tinitingnan mo pa rin ang mga pictures natin together kahit pa kasama ang mga barkada mo... masaya.”
“Yep, naiisip ko pa rin...”
“E shit ‘yun naman pala e. Walang nagbago, hindi ko iisiping nangyari ‘to, I’ll consider this, this past month as a lull, bakasyon, regrouping, nag-recharge ka, heto na ‘ko, simulan natin uli...”
“No, kakayanin ko, kakayanin ko ang wala ka...”
“kasama mo ko sa paglaki Jowie... It’s fucking easy for you to say na iiwan ako, alin, katorse ka pa lang no’n di ba? Sa’n ka ba nanghiram ng tapang, ‘di ba sa ‘kin? Gwapo ka ‘pag kasama ko ‘di ba? Macho ka di ba? Matalino ka di ba? Magaling kang dumiskarte ‘pag kasama ko. Tapos you have the balls to tell me na kaya mong mabuhay nang wala ako? You’re weak Jowie, I know you, I know you like the crevices of my face, my palm... you are a weakling. Pwe!”
(Ngingiti, iiling) “I’m happy. ‘Yun lang. I’m happy.”
(Mag-iiba ang mood, pipiliting maging masaya, papahiran ang luha) “Remember, high school graduation, ansasaya n’yo nila Obet, Tan-tan, at Alon. May picture ka pa nun di ba? Blue polo shirt, gray slacks... tapos sa PNU, walang araw na hindi tayo magkasama. Sa work mo, as in every work mo ha, at marami ‘yun, every job you landed, tadaaaah, I’m with you. Those were the moments...just about every special moment.”
“I know, nang ikasal ako, nang ipanganak si Divine, birthdays...”
“And did I mention the deaths?... hard times noh, nanay mo, tatay mo, but you weathered it all, with me. Can’t live without me noh?”
“I can... I’m trying. I’m winning.”
“No, no, no ‘wag ka munang magsalita, this is just a lull. Shhhhhh... matatapos din ‘to. Kahit hindi ka mag-sorry tatanggapin kita, what’s nineteen years ‘di ba... tatanggapin pa rin kita. Walang tanong-tanong. Okay?”
“I’m winning... my family’s winning.”
“I’m part of your family. This is just a lull.”
“Shut up. I better be home.” (Inistreyt ang lambanog)
“This is just a lull. Tatanggapin kita, open arms.”
“Get lost.”
“This is just a lull...”
“Fuck you.”
(Umiiwas sa tingin, sa nanunumbat na tingin) “Yep. Hard to explain, but, but, but good times, you see, should come to an end, end that way, abruptly. So-sorry.”
“Sorry? Sorry? ‘Yun lang? Nag-decide ka without even considering me? Shit!”
(Tinitigan ang hawak na basong may malamig na lambanog) “Alam ko, hindi na kailangang ipagpabukas e.”
(Tutulo ang luha, manginginig ang boses) “Ganun, nagpapatawa ka ba? Hindi na kailangang ipagpabukas, ha ha, e sino ba ko? Sino? Shit, I’ve been with you nineteen years, nineteen years lang naman heaven sakes... tapos iiwan mo ko, walang pasabi, walang paalam kasi, kasi, kasi... hindi na puwedeng ipagpabuhuhukas...”
(Nakatingin pa rin sa laman ng baso, nakatungo, mahinang-mahina ang boses) “You see, before, still can’t imagine myself na, na, na wala ka... that hellish week.”
(Mahina ang boses, may pagmamakaawa) “Ganun naman pala e, kalilimutan ko ‘to, kalilimutan ko lahat, walang nangyaring ganito ngayon, just, just... let’s be together again, please. Please.”
(Iiling lang, nilagyan ng lambanog ang baso kahit marami pang laman)
“Pl-please?...”
(Iiling lang, ngumiti, tutusok ng pulutan sa plato)
(Nanginginig ang boses, barely audible) “Please?... You can do no wonderful things without me...”
(Iiling lang, ngingiti) “Hindi ko malalaman, unless I try. So I tried... I’m trying, I’m moving on, it’s been a month.”
(Nabuhayan ng loob, tumayo, ngumiti) “This is just a bad dream, a nasty dream, yeah, I know, hehehe, dito rin ‘to magtatapos. Napanaginipan ko na to e. Napanood ko na to sa teleserye. At bago ko magising you will say ‘You’re right, can’t live without you, blah blah blah’ happy ending, masarap ang gising, masarap ang kape.”
“No, no, hindi ‘to panaginip, hindi ka magigising... gising ka na... after a month, I’d say I’m happier... much happier without you. Sorry.”
(Magbabago ang timpla, manginginig sa galit, tutulo ang luha) “Hindi totoo ‘yan, you still imagine me beside you, naiisip mo ang good times memorable times between us, tinitingnan mo pa rin ang mga pictures natin together kahit pa kasama ang mga barkada mo... masaya.”
“Yep, naiisip ko pa rin...”
“E shit ‘yun naman pala e. Walang nagbago, hindi ko iisiping nangyari ‘to, I’ll consider this, this past month as a lull, bakasyon, regrouping, nag-recharge ka, heto na ‘ko, simulan natin uli...”
“No, kakayanin ko, kakayanin ko ang wala ka...”
“kasama mo ko sa paglaki Jowie... It’s fucking easy for you to say na iiwan ako, alin, katorse ka pa lang no’n di ba? Sa’n ka ba nanghiram ng tapang, ‘di ba sa ‘kin? Gwapo ka ‘pag kasama ko ‘di ba? Macho ka di ba? Matalino ka di ba? Magaling kang dumiskarte ‘pag kasama ko. Tapos you have the balls to tell me na kaya mong mabuhay nang wala ako? You’re weak Jowie, I know you, I know you like the crevices of my face, my palm... you are a weakling. Pwe!”
(Ngingiti, iiling) “I’m happy. ‘Yun lang. I’m happy.”
(Mag-iiba ang mood, pipiliting maging masaya, papahiran ang luha) “Remember, high school graduation, ansasaya n’yo nila Obet, Tan-tan, at Alon. May picture ka pa nun di ba? Blue polo shirt, gray slacks... tapos sa PNU, walang araw na hindi tayo magkasama. Sa work mo, as in every work mo ha, at marami ‘yun, every job you landed, tadaaaah, I’m with you. Those were the moments...just about every special moment.”
“I know, nang ikasal ako, nang ipanganak si Divine, birthdays...”
“And did I mention the deaths?... hard times noh, nanay mo, tatay mo, but you weathered it all, with me. Can’t live without me noh?”
“I can... I’m trying. I’m winning.”
“No, no, no ‘wag ka munang magsalita, this is just a lull. Shhhhhh... matatapos din ‘to. Kahit hindi ka mag-sorry tatanggapin kita, what’s nineteen years ‘di ba... tatanggapin pa rin kita. Walang tanong-tanong. Okay?”
“I’m winning... my family’s winning.”
“I’m part of your family. This is just a lull.”
“Shut up. I better be home.” (Inistreyt ang lambanog)
“This is just a lull. Tatanggapin kita, open arms.”
“Get lost.”
“This is just a lull...”
“Fuck you.”
Sabi nga ng etiketa ng mga sigarilyo: “Government warning: cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.”
Tumigil akong manigarilyo hindi dahil sa naniniwala na ako sa gobyerno.
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